By this point, a lot of you have heard about or may have seen the season finale of “Sexless”, so this isn’t a spoiler. For those that haven’t…SPOILER ALERT! Go to BlackandSexy.tv, subscribe, (there’s a free trial,) binge watch the show and come back after!
For the rest of us, let’s get into what was arguably one of the most terrifying moments in my career. …Nope. Scratch that. THE. MOST. TERRIFYING. Way scarier than the swimsuit audition. (Remember that fiasco? Oy vey!) That was child’s play in comparison. When you’re working on a series the scripts are constantly developing and changing. You never know what the writers may have in store. That is, until your show runner, (shout out to Numa Perrier,) reveals that your character will finally be breaking her “sexless” streak in the season finale and will, indeed, be hopping on the ‘boloney’ pony!
Who me?! ME?! Queen Insecure? In a love scene?! Lord have His mercy! But see, here’s the thing, as an actor, part of your job is being prepared for whatever the writers throw at you. This was kind of inevitable at some point, right? Now I knew there wasn’t going to be any nudity or anything like that. ( They weren’t actually trying to kill me after all.) But I was still in a complete state of panic. What are we showing? Inner thighs? No. They jiggle. My stomach? Noooo. It jiggles. The booty? ……well…..
Still, I immediately, started pestering our director, (Hey, Morenike Joela,) about the scene and how it would be shot. Angles, lighting, state of undress. Honestly, I was kind of a pain in the ass. (So sorry!) Not because I was being a diva, but because I was SCARED. TO. DEATH. Who knew how many people would be seeing this? And once it’s out there, it’s there FOREVER. No take-backs in the internet age. Add to that, the awesome Black&Sexy TV fans are incredibly vocal and invested in the show. If I looked a mess, they would absolutely let me know. *We’re at Stage 4 anxiety at this point.* Oh and did I forget to mention that my scene partner looks like this….
Really, Jesus? Not even a little body fat? Ok.
Yep. Full on Stage 5-Code Blue-Sound the Alarm-Break out the Xanax-PANIC MODE!!
It was bad, guys. BUT I was determined to make it work. Being a part of “Sexless” has been one of the most enjoyable experiences of my acting career, and there was no way I was gonna let my bosses, cast and the fans down. So I had to figure out what worked for me. How could I work this “movie magic” thing to my advantage. First: Find an outfit that accentuates the positive and conceals the not so positive. Second: Email/Text Pics of said outfits to your bestie, who will give it to you straight. (Thanks, Sharifa!) Third: Find a sexy shoe with a high heel. Lengthens the legs and flexes the leg muscles. Fourth: Work out hard and cut out as much of the crap as possible. (That last part has always been the struggle for me.) I tried. I swear I did. Damn you, chocolate. Damn you to hell! Fifth: Beg the cinematographer for lighting that smooths out all the rolls, dimples, loopty-loops, etc. (Justin Morrison, you’re a genius!!) Sixth: Suck it up, take a shot of Tequila, (or 2), put on some ratchet music and just do it!!! (Don’t judge me.)
And yes, I was THAT ^^^ nervous–could barely keep food down on shoot day. (Which is probably a good thing for that type of scene.) My stomach was in knots. But our patient, talented director and DP assured me that it would be okay. And you know what, guys, it was!
When I finally saw the scene at our Season 1 wrap party, yes I was still shaking in my skinny jeans, but I was so happy with how it came out. And to be honest, I was kind of proud of myself. It may not seem like a big deal, but I have struggled with body issues for most of my life. (Still do. Obvi.) So to muster up the courage to put myself out there like that was huge for me. I absolutely could not have done it without the encouragement and support of so many and the “get yo’ life and do that shit!” of a few others. I needed both. Trust me
So it’s done! My first love scene is officially in the books! Now don’t go getting any ideas. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna just go around “jumping in bed” with all my scene partners, but it’s kind of a cool career/personal milestone. Whether it’s in the gym or in reference to my career, I want to keep pushing myself, stepping out of my comfort zone and evolving. We are all limitless beings. Who knows what heights we can reach if we just keep climbing!
As always thanks for reading. Special thanks to @BlackandSexyTV and the entire “Sexless” Family. I love you guys! xo