Here’s a FORMER FAT GIRL FUN FACT: I have a high, short waist and relatively straight hips. (*Drake Voice* “But you can still stare at the booty doooooh…”). For years, I have longed for the oh-so-sexy S-curve. You know…this thing…
Round hips, tiny waist–also known as the Coke bottle. Alas, it just wasn’t in my DNA. What I have noticed lately, though, is that apparently every other woman in the world was blessed with these delightfully curvy bodies–and by world I mean Instagram. How could this be? Since when is everybody shaped like Amber Rose? (Say what you will about her personality/lifestyle, but her body is sick!) That’s not a level playing field at all. What about those of us with exceptional calves and shoulders?
It wasn’t until recently, though, that I discovered–surprise, surprise–IT’S ALL A LIE. These women aren’t naturally shaped this way. They’ve been crushing their ribs and sweating all the water out of their mid-sections with waist trainers and in some cases, more severe corsets. That’s right, friends, we have traveled back to the 18th century. (And I didn’t even get to ride in the kick ass DeLorean. I feel robbed.) But it all makes sense–the big ol’ booties, wide hips and tiny little waists. It couldn’t just be coincidence, like an entire generation of women were born with Bettie Boop bodies. No. They’re manipulating their figures. (Don’t even get me started on injections and implants. Just do squats and lunges, ladies. No need for the fix-a-flat butts. I digress.)
To be fair, we’re not really talking about the whale bone or steel-lined corsets of the 1800s, (as pictured right). (I was over-exaggerating with rib crushing line.) Let me be very clear here, I am not talking about traditional, hard corsets. (Yes, those do still exist.) I am referring to waist trainers, most of which are made with flexible materials and lined with cotton. (Not all, but many.) They’re usually fastened with hook-and-eyes and have two rows of closures. Some women work out in them, (although there is some debate as to the benefit and/or risk in doing so,) while others simple wear them underneath their clothes during the day to create the shape they want. One tip about waist training that I’ve come across more than once is that you should NOT feel pain. Compression, yes, but not pain. The assertion is that prolonged use of the waist trainer will help you burn fat in your mid-section and start to reshape your torso to create a longer, more‘cinched’ waistline. Voila! S-curve. (Or so “they “say.)
Now at this point, having discovered the truth, I had to ask myself…”WHY THE HELL AREN’T YOU DOING THIS?” Sure, I have body shaping under garments that I’ve worn from time to time when I had on a particularly tight dress. But I’ve never committed to the idea of reshaping my waist. Part of me doesn’t really think it works. Another part wonders if it’s really safe. Are there any long-term health risks? (There is research out there which speaks to both sides of that debate. Please do your own due diligence before making a decision.) But I’ll never really know unless I try. I am considering it. And let me soothe my feminist friends by ensuring them: I am fully aware that a woman’s value, beauty and contribution to the world have nothing to do with the circumference of her waist, size of her breasts/butt/hips, etc. I get it. I am not speaking on behalf of woman-kind here or suggesting that this is what women NEED to look like in order to be attractive. I’m just sharing the rumblings of my own mind.
To be honest, I’d love to shrink my waist by a couple inches. I work hard at the gym. I do my best to avoid certain foods–delicious, life-affirming foods I might add–grilled cheese sandwiches, donuts, chocolate cake, waffles, French fries, Cap’n Crunch, chocolate cake, cheese grits, milk shakes, lasagna, CHOCOLATE CAKE DAMMIT! (I’m sorry. It’s not you.) But still, I’m not quite achieving the results I’d like. So if wearing one of these trainers helps me get where I want to be, maybe it’s worth a shot?
What do you think…honestly? Would you or have you ever tried a waist trainer? If you have, which brand would your recommend? I’m all ears, ladies. (And calves, don’t forget these killer calves.) Teach me!
PS: Shout out to my besties, Sharifa and Ebony, killing the NATURAL Coke bottle game since Wu-Tang’s “Ice Cream” truck.