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Olympic Envy

Am I the only one who has been watching the incredible athleticism and stunning physical feats of the Olympics and wondering, dammit why didn’t I run track or take gymnastics or actually go to dance class instead of hiding under the stairs? I’m probably alone on that last one, huh? But seeing these human beings who have conditioned their bodies beyond anything I can even imagine has definitely made me a bit envious. Certainly, not all of the body types are aesthetically pleasing to my eye, (sorry lady gymnasts…and swimmers). But still, I can’t help but feel a little jealous that these women have NO cellulite, NO residual fat jiggle, and not a single stretch mark anywhere on their bodies. And don’t even get me started on the track stars or volleyball players. Really? Six packs for days. Toned thighs and they actually have some feminine curves to boot. (Sorry, female gymnasts…and swimmers.)

So how did my Olympic envy play out? In the form of grueling two-a-day workouts, of course. A little something you should know about me. I am easily influenced. When I moved to LA, I wanted a skateboard and some Vans. Whenever I watch “Sex and the City” reruns, I want a cocktail. And after I saw  “The Hunger Games,” I thought about taking up archery. (Still might). So it’s no wonder that after a week of watching the 30th Olympiad, I decided that one workout a day wasn’t cutting it. Last week, I worked out eight times in five days. And by Saturday morning, I was having a very difficult time walking. Funny thing about ramping up your workouts with no transition period, it hurts. Hurts like hell. Particularly two days after when the DOMS set in. (Delayed onset muscle soreness). It’s not pretty, folks. You end up walking around like the zombie pimps in “Hollywood Shuffle”.

Needless to say, this week, I’m taking it down a notch to give my body time to recover. I’ve only worked out twice as of Wednesday morning. I’ll get at least two more in by Saturday. But let this be a cautionary tale to you all. When you watch the Olympics, you get Olympic envy. When you get Olympic envy, you rush into two-a-day workouts. When you rush into two-a-day workouts, you hurt yourself. When you hurt yourself, you end up hobbling around like an old, drunken goat. Don’t end up like an old, drunken goat. It’s not a good look. Ease into your amped up workouts. Be kind to your body and it will be kind to you. See you at the gym! 🙂


“Booty, booty, booty, booty rockin’ everywhere…” Yeah, that. In this day and age of over-infalted posteriors and ridiculously disproportionate bodies, I’ve learned to appreciate my baby ‘donk’ much more. It suits my body, fills out my jeans nicely, and makes me feel oh-so feminine.  So where ever you are ladies, give it a little jiggle or put some extra wiggle in your get-along in honor of your awesome @ss! Yay for lady lumps!

About TheFormerFatGirl

I started gaining weight around age 6 and was on my first diet by age 7. Since then, my life has been a flurry of scales, gyms, low-carb/high fat diets, tape measures, spicy lemonade, self-esteem issues, loving my body, loathing my body, and the constant pursuit of my ideal figure. Since roller coasters are always more fun with friends, I decided to share my struggles and triumphs with any and everyone. Join me!

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