It’s been 3 weeks since my last blog, and I know some of you are probably thinking, ‘she has to be over it by now. Certainly, she can’t still be trying to lose weight.’ Oh Ye of little compulsion. Of course I’m still trying to lose weight. I just wasn’t doing anything notable enough to blog about. That is, until now. With the exception of borderline starvation, (which I’ve only experienced in times of severe emotional distress when I simply did not have an appetite,) I am currently exploring one of the most extreme weight loss practices of my life. Extreme for several reasons:
1) It requires a caloric intake of less than 800 calories a day. (No, I didn’t forget to type a 1 in front of the 8. You read that correctly. 800 calories).
2) I have been directed to STOP my workouts for the first 2 weeks of this program. (Trust me, I’m fighting this one, but I don’t want to waste my money, so I’m trying to abide by the rules).
And 3.) I literally have to shoot up once a day, six days a week. Now before you start calling my friends and family to stage an intervention, let me explain.
Those of you who have been on this ride with me since my initial blog might recall my mentioning something called HCG. If not, go ahead and run a quick Google search to get caught up. I’ll wait………………..Got it? Human Chorionic Gonadotropin , found naturally in pregnant women and commonly used for fertility treatments. Over the last 5 years or so, however, it has also been used in low doses as a medical weight loss treatment in conjunction with a low calorie diet. It puts your body in a state of ketosis so that it pulls from fat reserves, rather than lean muscle for energy so your body doesn’t go into starvation mode, (where it stores the fat rather than burns it.) This is why simply cutting calories doesn’t always work. In addition, it curbs your appetite and cravings, so that the 800 calorie diet is more tolerable. I’ll be honest, I almost decided not to blog about this at all for fear of being judged, berated, and lectured. But then I thought, if I’m not gonna be honest about what I’m doing, then why write the blog in the first place? Besides, I ain’t scare of yall…….ok, I’m a little scared of y’all. But most of you already think I’m crazy, so what the hell? Maybe I am a little obsessed. I mean seriously, you couldn’t have told me in a million years that I’d get to a place where eating less than 1000 calories a day and injecting myself would sound like a winning idea, let alone be something that I’d actually consider. That is, of course, until I had tried just about everything else and still found myself stuck on a lonely plateau called ‘average’. And dammit, I don’t do average. Whether we’re talking GPA, workouts, or my skills on the Wii “Michael Jackson Experience,” average just ain’t my style. *(hee-hee)*
So I decided that I was desperate enough to give this a shot. (Pun intended). I went to a physician on a friend’s recommendation—a friend who lost almost 20 pounds in a month mind you—and started the regimen last week. After one day, I had lost two pounds. (I know…crazy!) Sadly, though, I had to fly out of town for work the following day and left half of my supplies at home. I wasn’t able to keep it up over the weekend, so I started over this Monday, (Nov. 7).
And listen, I’m not a total nutcase, okay? I swear. But I want to see major changes in my physique, so I’m enacting major change. I don’t know if this will work, or if it’s something I’ll be able to keep up for long, but it’s better than just standing in the mirror wishing the bulges away. And it’s a hell of a lot better than working my @ss off for hours on end and seeing absolutely no change at all. That’s infuriating. At the end of the day, I’m just tired of the constant battle. People always say, ‘oh, you’ll never be satisfied. You’re just gonna keep finding things wrong.’ HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW, NOSTRADOMUS?! … I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled. *quietly* I’m hungry.
But seriously, I do have finite goals. I’m not just doing this for sh*ts and giggles. Size 4 pants, 128lbs. Period! It’s not outrageous. And yes, I’ve just revealed my goal weight, so now you can approximate how much I weigh currently. GASP! I’ve decided I don’t really care anymore. It’s not about what other people think. It’s about what I want, my goals and my desires—nobody else’s. So I’m gonna eat twigs and grass, drink 75 ounces of water a day, put my workouts on hold and take a needle to the belly every morning—cause that’s what I want to do. If it works—bloody fantastic! It if doesn’t……to hell with that, I paid 400 bucks, this sh*t better work!
Stay tuned to find out….
Addendum: As of Thursday, (Nov 10), I have lost 4.5 pounds. 🙂