There are few things in life more disappointing than looking down at a scale and seeing that you’ve lost ZERO pounds in the last week, particularly when you’ve worked out the past 4 days straight–twice on Monday! But there it is, the big nothing. And sadly, taking off my bra and panties did not affect the number glaring back at me. I just knew it was that underwire weighing me down. Alas, no.
Here’s the ugly truth though, it was exactly what I was expecting. FormerFatGirl Tidbit #1: After 20+ years of “watching what I eat” or at the very least having to be concerned about it, I have an aversion to self-denial when it comes to food. Meaning, if I want it, I’m gonna eat it. My saving grace over the last 9 years or so has been that I can just work it off. No problem. Doesn’t quite work that way when your goal is to lose weight rather than just maintain. This weekend, I knew I had gone too far. I was on set for a short film Saturday and Sunday, (that I co-wrote and produced–YAY!), and there were all kinds of unhealthy, high sugar, high carb, fat-girl treats lying around–taunting me with the high of refined white sugar and artificial coloring. True, I was the one who bought them since I was producing the film, but they were for the crew and talent, not me. Right? *(side eye)* And to be fair, I also bought fruit and vegetable trays. But I ask you, who the hell would choose carrots and celery when there are bagels and mini snickers on the table? (Sidebar: If you answered ‘I would’ to that question…we are no longer friends. And if we’ve never actually met, and you’re reading my blog anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the support. But you should know that we’ll never be friends either. Just saying.)
So yes, I ate the junk food–ate the bagels, ate the chips, ate the candy and even threw in some fruit and veggies for good measure. And while I was aware that I was making awful choices–kind of like Nicki Minaj did with her wardrobe at the BET awards…or at every awards show thus far–the awareness did not actually keep the food out of my mouth. As usual, I just thought, ‘oh, I’ll work out really hard this week and burn it off. No big deal.’ And I have to say, I worked my ass off this week in preparation for my weekly weigh-in. I went running in the heat of the day, played tennis, and went extra hard in my martial arts class. But the numbers don’t lie. My body is at a point where I have to make significant changes in my dietary habits to see real weight loss. So while I could give explanations and try to justify my failure this week, there’s only one direction to point the finger… squarely in the face of everyone on set this weekend who let me eat that junk and did nothing to stop me! *crickets* Don’t look at me. I’m ashamed. *(hangs head and walks away)*
Seriously, I know I have no one to blame here but myself. That’s the best and worst thing about choosing to lose weight or live a healthier lifestyle. It’s all on you! Well, me. And I make the choices every moment of every day. “Eat this, not that”. Workout or don’t. Plan and prepare your meals or end up buying a “healthy wrap” that has 900 calories. (Thank God restaurants have been forced to post the calorie count of their menu items. Talk about a wake-up call!) And while I’ve been a fan of the ‘everything in moderation’ agenda, that only works up to a certain point. I don’t have 50lbs to lose here. I’m going for that last 11 that will take me from–‘I’m alright’ to ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t wear clothes because my body is SMOKIN’!’ And though it’s true I may encounter resistance to the latter philosophy in certain arenas like the workplace and grocery stores, I’m willing to take the heat.
So, here’s the crux of it: Week 2: ZERO pounds lost and 7 to go before July 23rd, 11 to go by August 9th. I’m not worried, though. I’ve enlisted the help of a new associate who has given me an eating plan guaranteed to cut my cravings and shed the fat. All I can say for now is that it’s going to be tough. I know that. But if it gives me the results I’m looking for, it’ll be totally worth it. More to come on that as the story develops. Also, I want to thank Tina Watkins and Tia Webb for their fitness and nutrition tips last week. (Tina, I’m holding at a four now. Tia, no bread in the house!) Keep them coming, guys.
Below is the link to a popular nutrition book that I referenced earlier, “Eat This, Not That,” along with a handy little guide for you calorie counters–“The CalorieKing Calorie, Fat, and Carbohydrate Counter”. Some things in there might surprise you. I was blown away last summer to find that one of my favorite SALADS at Baja Fresh was over 1000 calories. The journey continues, folks. Oh and P.S., I’m flying to Hampton, VA for a week on Monday–best known for it’s military bases, fried whiting sandwiches, corn fritters, Allen Iverson, and overall disdain for healthy eating practices. Your prayers would be appreciated.